Funniest Jokes

Renewal of Contract 2008

After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the new year 2008. It was a very hard decision to make! So try to be more friendlier and caring next year. I am giving you another chance so ....

Don't mess it up! 'cuz it's impossible to find a friend who is 96 % funky, 97 % kind, 98 % loving, 99 % talented and 100 % perfect.

So don't lose me .... OK...!

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SOME GOOD GRAFFITI

1.)

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.


2)I was born intelligent - education ruined me.


3)A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say..........


4)Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?


5)If it's true that we are here to help others,
then, what exactly are the others here for?


6)Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.


7)How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?


8)Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.


One should love animals.
They are so tasty.


Save water.
Shower with your girl friend.


Love thy neighbor.
But don't get caught.


Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.


Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.


The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.


Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.


Love is photogenic
It needs darkness to develop


Children in backseats cause accidents
Accidents in backseats cause children


"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep


There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning


"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk !


"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours !


God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.


When two's company,
three's the result !


A dress is like a barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view


The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.


Whenever U fail, U don't succumb,
but restart again to make a try until U succeed.


BE ROMANTIC


BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so
overwhelmed,I couldn't speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.


A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

Luv Always Deepak